Sports reporters and Clearing logs

I met my wife on the Internet. I have had several significant friendships with people that I've only known or primarily known online. Two of my best friends are people I met via the Internet. Over the past years, I've had several friends that I've known only online pass away.

I have encountered people who obscure their identities in their online relationships. Some did so openly, acknowledging that their online persona was something that they intended to keep distinct from their "real life." Others did so in a fashion that could be considered subterfuge and misrepresentation.

At times, I have struggled with how to discuss my online friends with friends and family members. In particular, when talking to a person who has stated negative opinions about "online dating", Second Life (where I met my wife, for what it's worth,) or online friendships, I have on occasion allowed a misconception about the nature of my relationship to stand, or been less than forthcoming about it. For example, at least once in the past I've said that my wife and I were introduced by mutual friends; this is true, from my perspective, but it leaves out some facts: that our "meeting" was online, and that those "friends" were (with one exception) people I only knew online at the time.

A while back, sports reporters started telling us a story. They told the story that they wanted to hear, because it was a good story: the rising football star who lost both his grandmother and his leukemia-stricken girlfriend on the same day. It was a great story. It drove up ratings on TV and rankings on the web. It wasn't true, exactly. The girlfriend part, at least.

The staff at Notre Dame, to their credit, view Te'o as a victim. It's troubling that so many sports journalists are willing to pile on accusations that he was somehow a party to the deception. It's especially disingenuous because so many of them were in a position to investigate the alleged girlfriend as the various stories played out over the season, and none of them did. Nobody checked Stanford's student lists. Nobody looked for a death certificate. Nobody checked hospital records. Nobody did anything. Why not? Isn't that what journalism school is supposed to teach you? What does it say about the state of journalism when nobody bothers to verify a major news story about a Heisman candidate?

Considering the way online relationships have impacted my life, I am extremely sympathetic with Manti Te'o's situation. From what I have been able to read about it so far, he was naive, and he was victimized. Only he knows for sure, but absent any conclusive evidence, we should give him the benefit of the doubt.