Nicholson's Laws

First Law: Whenever anyone says, "We must do something," they are lying. If we must do something, we are doing it. If we aren't doing it, then "must do" doesn't apply.

Second Law: The only time there is anything to eat in the house is when you are unpacking from a grocery trip. As soon as you are done unpacking, there is nothing to eat. (This also applies to beer, clean laundry, etc.)

Third Law: Ignorance of history is the root of all manner of evil.
Corollary: Humanity exists largely in a historical vacuum.

Fourth Law: All explanations of how the Internet was invented are wrong.